Fade Out
by Wolf Master Loki
Summary: Set during My Bad. JD's thoughts during the time he has sex with Jordan. Angst. implied noncon. JDJordan


**Title:** Fade Out  
**Pairing:** JD/Jordan  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warnings:** Angst, sexual situations, implied non-con  
**Summary:** JD's thoughts during the time he has sex with Jordan  
**Disclaimer: **I don't own Scrubs  
**A/N: **I've been dying for ideas lately. So I cycled through my playlist for some inspiration. I got this particular idea while listening to Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades by Brand New. I won't put up the lyrics because I've never written a songfic and I never plan to. But if you've ever heard it you'll understand the connection.  
**Quote:** "...your car accident turned out to be the best thing that's ever happened to me." -Turk (3x8 My Friend the Doctor)

I think the beginning of any relationship is based on three things: Control, dependence, and timing.

Right now, I'm focusing on the control part of that equation. Jordan seems oddly turned on by my display of manliness. Which usually gives me that kind of happy feeling that makes me want to jump up and down and sing a tune. Which is decidedly less manly.

The control was mine. For about ten seconds. Now it's all Jordan's show. She tells me to drop my pants. I do. She pushes me down on the uncomfortable hospital bed. I let her.

It isn't the first time a woman took the initiative. I never minded before. It's arousing in a way. I'm getting excited already, but I never had this feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever its happened before. It's like the feeling that comes after you've eaten something that's obviously not good.

Jordan leans over me and I think she's going to kiss me. I'm hoping she does. I think it would help to lift the acid feeling in my gut. She doesn't kiss me. Instead she leans passed my face and bites my neck. Hard. Even that's arousing. The weight just gets heavier.

I shift my arms and legs like I'm going to sit up. She sits back on my thighs and pushes my upper body back down. Jordan doesn't even bother undressing any further. She's only wearing a bra and skirt. She shifts the skirt up a little more. I take a moment to admire that move since it looks too tight for that to be possible.

She pulls my boxers down just enough to pull my penis out. Jordan gives it a few strokes to get it fully hard. It happens so fast and than she's riding me. It feels good. I think.

I'm kind of far away. She looks like it's enjoyable at least. Her face seems relaxed but she isn't looking at me. Instead she's focusing on the wall behind me. I'm glad she isn't looking at me. I'm sure I have a deer in the headlights look on my face.

Through the whole experience I'm still far off. I'm aware of being in Jordan and the scratchy sheets of the stiff bed I was being pushed into. Other than that it was kind of like one of my fantasies.

I think I clenched my eyes closed because when I open them it's over. I was briefly aware of arching my hips a little and maybe groaning low in my throat. Than nothing.

I glance over and see Jordan fixing her skirt and pulling on her shirt. Like it never happened.

I jump off the bed. Probably a little too quickly. I stumble a little on my legs. They're a little shaky from my orgasm that I don't remember. I pull my boxers and pants up and start to tie my scrubs. The weight in my stomach has become actual nausea. I feel kind of dirty. It isn't the sex. No. It's been a long shift. I need a shower. I'm sweaty and I probably shouldn't walk around treating people while I smell like sex.

My hands are shaky and I can't really tie the strings. I glance up and catch Jordan's eye for a second. My breath becomes shallow. It's an awkward moment. That's all. She looks away and walks out.

I realize that I haven't taken a breath for a couple minutes. I'm suffocating. I cough hard to clear my throat. My breathing gets a little easier. I clench my hands a few times to make them stop shaking. I'm just nervous. Jordan and I have just broken several hospital rules. That's all.

I manage to halfway tie up my pants before my breath becomes short again. The nausea is getting worse. I might throw up. I need to get out of here. I leave my pants half tied. I was going to take a shower anyway. There should be a free one in the locker room. I hope.

I leave the room quickly. I can't make myself look at the bed.


End file.
